This is just too good... ha ha ha
Be sure to check out where the "quote" came from.
The Quote of the Decade:
“The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the US Government cannot pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government's reckless fiscal policies. Increasing America's debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that, "the buck stops here.' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.”~
Senator Barack H. Obama, March 2006!
(...it was so nice of him to give us this great quote for posterity!)
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We men are just sooooo sensitive...
The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in
full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe and was
telling the men how to give the necessary help and assurance to their
partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try
to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
She looked at the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this
together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared
experience would be good for you both."
The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
After a few moments, a man named Mac at the back of the room slowly
raised his hand.
"Yes," said the Instructor.
"I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag
while we walk?"
---- Brings a tear to your eye doesn't it? This kind of sensitivity just
can't be taught.
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Ahhhhh the wisdom of the ages.
A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
To check it out, she went to the Wall, and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall to pray?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."
"And how do you feel Sir, after doing this for 60 years?"
"It's like talking to a fucking brick wall."
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Being Halloween, I thought this appropriate for the time of year.
ADULT CONTENT!!!Best Comeback Line Ever..........well, you decide!
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 12.01 a.m. on Friday.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public Intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around," he stated in a telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need.
"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin." Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said,
"A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight already?"
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